Do you wrestle with pride? A proud person probably says, “no”, while the rest of us might admit “yes”. My friend, Joe Abraham, recorded a message for the chapter on pride from my book, Persevering Power.
He acknowledges we can become overly proud of our kids, church, or what we know as a way of puffing us up while subtly putting others down. He asks us to consider where is the Pharisee within me showing up or the victim in me acting up? Watch his video on YouTube, dive into the chapter, and consider these lessons.
1. Pride Can Sneak Into Even Our Best Intentions.
In Persevering Power, I share a story from my childhood when I memorized Bible verses and evangelized—not to genuinely share the message of Jesus, but to show off my knowledge. That’s the tricky thing about pride; it often hides behind good actions. It’s easy to get caught up in doing things for recognition rather than out of genuine love. We might think we’re serving others, but if it’s more about how we look than the impact we’re making, pride is taking the wheel. I called that my inner Pharisee. Do you recognize him?
2. People Are Not Problems to Be Solved
Persevering Power emphasizes the importance of seeing people as individuals, not just projects or problems. Whether we’re offering help or just having a conversation, it’s tempting to jump in with solutions. But how often do we stop and really listen to what someone needs? Sometimes, the greatest gift is being present, not just fixing things. The reminder that we’re agents of justice, not the authors of justice, may be helpful. It’s God who brings true change, not our quick fixes.
When I first began Administer Justice, a legal ministry serving the vulnerable, I was quick to provide answers and slow to listen. I quickly learned people equate listening with love. Do I care enough to listen to a person? Really listen. Feeling heard is as important as getting legal direction. I write this on a Saturday and earlier today a client sent a survey saying, “The attorney listened and provided good honest answers and prayed with me at the end of our meeting. I feel so much calmer now. Thank you and God bless.”
3. Beware the Pride of Paternalism
Another insight shared in Persevering Power is how well-meaning efforts, especially in charity or missions, can sometimes be more about our need to help than truly understanding what’s needed. The example of people knitting blankets for an inner-city church in the middle of summer is one of the stories I share. It was a kind gesture, but it wasn’t what the community needed at that moment. This reminds us of how crucial it is to partner with others rather than assume we know what’s best. Sometimes, our pride tells us we have all the answers, but humility teaches us to ask questions first.
4. The Silent Power of Forgiveness
Pride can also disguise itself in the form of unforgiveness. Holding onto grudges can feel like power, but it’s really pride keeping us locked in pain. Forgiveness isn’t something we do for ourselves, but because God has forgiven us. That’s a tough pill to swallow, especially when we feel wronged. But letting go and offering forgiveness, even without an apology, is a powerful way to break the chains of pride. It’s a step toward peace, not just for others, but for ourselves.
I hope these insights encourage you to be mindful of areas of pride that can harm you and those around you. Pride is sneaky, but when we stay mindful and humble, we’re able to live in deeper relationship with God and others. Let’s walk that road together!
